Oh Queen Elizabeth (Koh Lana, Thailand)

After a 2 hour flight listening to the planes music, featuring “Oh Queen Elizabeth” and a 1.5 hour drive with Mario Andretti, we made it in one piece to the Crown Lanta Resort & Spa, our last destination on the trip. Our room was gorgeous and we splurged here for a room with private pool off the suite. Before you mention it, yes, I do realize I’m not fooling anyone, we splurged on every hotel on this trip, and when we didn’t, we left and got an upgrade.

When we got in, it was down pouring, which made for a fun ferry ride across. Settled into our room, we decided to brave the weather and head to the reggae bar. On a sunny day, this spot filled with honeymooners would’ve been awesome, but with the rain and our small private bungalow, complete with people making out on either side of us, we had a drink and went back to the room for an early night.

DAY 2 of Paradise

We intentionally left this day unplanned so we could enjoy some R&R after a few weeks of being on the go. We each had a two-hour thai massage (our appointments split throughout the day, and if you were lucky like HH, your massage included hair braiding), and when not getting a massage the pool was our home, complete with a swim up bar. My appointment was last, and once back to the pool I had to catch up with HH and Dennis who were taking full advantage of happy hour.

HH and I didn’t want to go into town, but we begrudgingly went to appease Dennis. One thing HH and I didn’t do was ask the hotel if we needed baht to pay the driver, so while we made it to town for dinner, we couldn’t pay the driver. After quick a ATM trip by my now angry brother, we were paid up and had a quick bite. Next up: the Cheeky Monkey. Dennis insisted we came here and after 20 minutes by tuk tuk the place was closed, and had been for a while (as in forever). Our driver told us not to worry, there was a better spot up the road, the Funky Monkey. After 20 more minutes of driving on a bumpy road, HH and I telling Dennis this was a bad idea, drinks were flowing, the band was playing, and during the bands break HH and I sang karaoke (my second time ever), our very special rendition of “Living on a Prayer.”

When we got back to the hotel the shuttles had stopped running so we had to trek up the steep dark hills to our room, which was conveniently at the very top of the mountain this resort was on. Barely breathing and legs burning at the top, we made it in once piece.


DAY 3 of Paradise

Another day of lounging before a Thai Cooking class at Time for Lime! The cooking class was great, there were about 20 of us total and we made three dishes. Our instructor had a big crush on Dennis and offered to marry him if he sang a song on the spot. It was not a match made in heaven, but the food was awesome and Dennis will be making it again for me and HH soon… the 45 minute hand made chili paste included.


DAY 4 of Paradise

Off on a long tail boat to four islands, the day was simply paradise. The first stop was a snorkel spot, Dennis and our instructor (in a leather belt and khaki pants) jumped in for a swim with the colorful fish. Next up was Emerald Cave. To get there, you swam through a pitch black cave, the only light being our guides very dim flash light that he had to shake for the batteries to set into place. I was swimming so close to our guide that he was kicking me, but I felt a few bruises were better than losing him and making a wrong turn to never be found again. Once you made the swim through, it opened into possibly the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my life. Emerald green water (hence the name), surrounded by lime stone covered in greenery, and the sun streaming in through the top. We hung here for a while before being told we had 10-20 minutes to get out of the cave. After that, it would be high tide and the cave opening would be too low to get out, so we’d have to sleep here overnight (divers can obviously make it through). HH and I became olympic swimmers, and despite having to duck into the cave (which was perviously wide open) to get through because the tide was rising so quickly, we made it.

The next stop was another swim and the final spot was a quaint island where we’d have lunch. I was the pickiest eater the entire duration of this trip, but for some reason, I LOVED what was served and went for seconds. It was made (no joke) by our guides wife, and served to us in mis-matched Tupperware containers – chicken with veggies, rice (of course), and an egg omelet were on the menu. All items were a bit cold and I don’t know what it was, but I thoroughly enjoyed it. After lunch, someone (I will not name names) had got to visit the 10 baht tin hut bathroom, barefoot, with no flushing water. I probably shouldn’t be writing about this but it was too hysterical not to, so sorry for the image!


Heading back to the mainland, we all went to the main pool before heading back to the room to get ready for dinner. Dennis and I took to the pool in the room and choreographed a synchronized swim routine for HH to enjoy when she was ready. Unfortunately, no video was taken so we can’t submit for America’s Got Talent. Because of that, for the time being, we will not quit our day jobs (or maybe we will and move to the Pimalai).

Sad to go but ready to be home, we went to the reggae bar for dinner before heading back to pack our things and embark on the 36 hour journey home the next day. Koh Lanta, you were a beautiful and magical place, I hope our paths cross again soon. ❤



#travel #southeastasia #thailand

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